Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at
the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did
you do about it?
That's interesting.
I'm of the opinion, that such a feeling as helplessness is not that sharp. It's blurry.
We can feel pain, sorrow, love, happiness and we feel them clearly.
If you are asked about the last time you've fallen in love, you'll definately remember it.
But helplessness is like fog, lingering low inside you and dissappearing by the midday, something not distinct. I don't like this feeling, no one likes, I guess, still it's hard to recall the last time you've felt it precisely, because sometimes we can live carrying our helplessness inside us for days and weeks.
However, I remember the moment I felt that helplessness so strong I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again. It's not the last time, of course, but it was one of the hardests moments in my life.
It happened a year ago.
January, 7, 2014.
I was sitting at my desk, drawing something nice in my diary, listening to some sad songs and eating sweets. Lovely evening indeed. But then, out of the blue, I've realised that I've lost one of my best friends. I've lost her in December, but I've realised what we have done only in January.
There came a sharp feeling of pain - something you feel, when someone, whom you love so much, just go away. No reason, no explanation, no last goodbye. There was so much pain.
...and then helplessness came as well.
I was still sitting at my desk, crying and feeling alone and helpless, because there seemed to be no chance to make things right.
That year, 2014, I felt that poisonous fog of helplessness every time I've remembered her.
I knew that I had to let her go, but I couldn't.
I was helpless and desperate, holding on a cloudy memory of a friendship, which has already vanished in the air. Miserable.
A year has passed, and now I'm feeling stronger.
I let her go. I let myself go. I've met a new friend.
I've learned to love and appreciate my best friends even more.
I've got I lesson I'll never forget.
I'm not helpless anymore.
Awesome.
the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did
you do about it?
That's interesting.
I'm of the opinion, that such a feeling as helplessness is not that sharp. It's blurry.
We can feel pain, sorrow, love, happiness and we feel them clearly.
If you are asked about the last time you've fallen in love, you'll definately remember it.
But helplessness is like fog, lingering low inside you and dissappearing by the midday, something not distinct. I don't like this feeling, no one likes, I guess, still it's hard to recall the last time you've felt it precisely, because sometimes we can live carrying our helplessness inside us for days and weeks.
However, I remember the moment I felt that helplessness so strong I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again. It's not the last time, of course, but it was one of the hardests moments in my life.
It happened a year ago.
January, 7, 2014.
I was sitting at my desk, drawing something nice in my diary, listening to some sad songs and eating sweets. Lovely evening indeed. But then, out of the blue, I've realised that I've lost one of my best friends. I've lost her in December, but I've realised what we have done only in January.
There came a sharp feeling of pain - something you feel, when someone, whom you love so much, just go away. No reason, no explanation, no last goodbye. There was so much pain.
...and then helplessness came as well.
I was still sitting at my desk, crying and feeling alone and helpless, because there seemed to be no chance to make things right.
That year, 2014, I felt that poisonous fog of helplessness every time I've remembered her.
I knew that I had to let her go, but I couldn't.
I was helpless and desperate, holding on a cloudy memory of a friendship, which has already vanished in the air. Miserable.
A year has passed, and now I'm feeling stronger.
I let her go. I let myself go. I've met a new friend.
I've learned to love and appreciate my best friends even more.
I've got I lesson I'll never forget.
I'm not helpless anymore.
Awesome.
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